By Charo R. Walker
BlackFood News Reporter
UTAH Taylor bares his soul in the suitably titled book, “The Tears I Cried”. The memoir pieces together Taylor’s lifelong struggle to find his father and in it he destroys any preconceived notions we may have of what makes a man.
He openly speaks of the many nights he cried himself to sleep because of the pain he suffered as a result of the “no daddy virus”.
While the story begins and ends on the island of Exuma, most of the drama unfolds in New Providence.
Before the age of 12, Taylor has no idea who his father is. With his mother unwilling to share this important information with him, he is left angry and with feelings of hatred toward her.
Eventually, she reveals his father’s identity and Taylor’s anger subsides. His frustration and feelings of being unwanted quickly resurface, however, when repeated attempts to reach out to his father fail.
When Taylor moves to New Providence to attend college he intensifies his efforts to find his father; albeit with no luck. His failure to find this “missing link” fills him with deep despair and leads him, for a short time, to a life of crime.
Realizing that life on the streets is not for him, he channels his energy into positive efforts and eventually finds the man that his mother claims is his father. After a paternity test, some years later, it is revealed that he and his “father” are completely unrelated.
This revelation deals Taylor a deadly blow and as he shares his feelings at this juncture in his life, his raw emotions jump off of the pages.
The remainder of the book carries him on a bittersweet journey that leads to a father that he had always hoped to meet.
Taylor’s memoir is a well written slice of Bahamian life that intersperses humour with pain. The expert use of Bahamian dialect also makes the book an easy read.
More importantly, “The Tears I Cried” is a look inside the hearts and minds of numerous young men and women who go throughout life fatherless. It rightly captures the sorrow that they endure; even as adults.
Hopefully, Taylor’s testimony will help us better care for the countless wounded souls among us.♦bf
Copies of "The Tears I Cried" are available here at BlackFood.org.